My Immortal BB OneShot
by DaveRy2004
Summary: Based on the Evanescence song "My Immortal", an older Beast Boy faces up to his greatest loss...


This is my first attempt at the fabled "one-shot" story. It is probably not that good, but I figured I might as well give it a try.

It's based on the lyrics of the Evanescence song, "My Immortal" – but I guess the title gave that away, didn't it? ï

Anyway, let me know what you think.

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I always wondered what it was that caused me to get my hopes up as much as I did. Maybe it was just because I was younger then, more naïve about the way life really worked; or maybe I was so shaken by the thought of losing her forever that I wasn't really willing to face...the inevitable, I guess.

I still remember that day as vividly as ever. The day when Fate, for whatever reason it saw fit, took her away from me through her own powers - the powers which blessed and cursed her at the same time, and in the end meant that she could never be truly happy. No matter what she tried, she could never gain the control she so desperately needed...so she resorted to whatever means she could think of to gain even a shred of control. That's where it all started to go wrong: that one good intention started a chain of events that destroyed her, and I guessed destroyed the Teen Titans and me as well.

The scene looked hopeless from the start. Her fight with Slade, our nemesis and the one who had given her a shred of control, had triggered a volcano that was going to destroy Jump City – and as Fate would have it, she was the only one with a chance of stopping the disaster. I tried to get her out of there, told her it was too late...but then she repeated those words; the ones I wished I'd never said to her.

"_It's never too late to change."_

I held her in my arms for one brief moment, while she told me how I was the best friend she had ever had...the entire scene had a degree of finality about it. Maybe she knew that no matter how hard we tried, she would be lost forever. Then, almost like a nightmare, the scene changed dramatically, and she drifted away from me. I could feel Cyborg pull me off of the rock platform, could feel myself being steered down the passageway to relative safety – but my heart never really left that cavern. It's still there now, in a way.

We held a short memorial service for her in the cavern, after all the rock had stabilised. She was still there, her body still in the same stance I'd last seen her in, the sound of her final cry still echoing around my head. Starfire probably felt as low at that point as I did, but at the time I felt completely alone. Even Raven's words of finding a way to reverse the effect held no comfort for me. From the moment I lost her, I guess I changed completely.

Despite their best efforts, the others never did find a way to bring her back. It was a futile goal, I realise now: you can't break the laws of physics, no matter how hard you try. I guess the whole issue was like a wedge, forcing my friends and I apart – until eventually I gave up with their excuses and walked. I didn't blame them for failing: they'd tried their hardest, and in the end it just wasn't possible. But I just couldn't stay there while they kept spouting lines like, "Don't worry, Beast Boy. We're getting closer to a breakthrough – it's just a matter of time." I guess when I was younger, I believed them for a while. I had the time to wait: I didn't have to worry about the rest of my life. After two or three years, though, I was finding the wait unbearable, so I eventually faced the truth. That's why I walked. As far as I was concerned, without her my life had no real purpose anymore, so there was no point being in the team any longer. 

I still visit the cavern from time to time. It never changes: the same level of darkness; the same bunch of roses, regularly replaced by Star; the same plaque, starting to rust after the years of damp in there; the same girl, frozen in statue form. Whenever I'm down there, I always end up thinking of the words of a song I heard long ago. I guess it sums up my life in Jump City perfectly.

I'm so tired of being here, 

_Suppressed by all of my childish fears,_

_And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave,_

'_Cause your presence still lingers here_

_And it won't leave me alone._

_These wounds won't seem to heal,_

_This pain is just too real,_

_There's just too much that time cannot erase:_

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears,_

_When you screamed I'd chase away all of your fears,_

_And I've held your hand through all these years,_

_But you still have all of me._

_You used to captivate me by your resonating light._

_But now I'm bound by the life you left behind._

_Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams,_

_Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me._

_These wounds won't seem to heal,_

_This pain is just too real,_

_There's just too much that time cannot erase:_

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears,_

_When you screamed I'd chase away of your fears,_

_And I've held your hand through all these years,_

_But you still have all of me._

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone._

_And though you're still with me,_

_I've been alone all along._

So there you go. Even though the girl I love is gone forever, I still can't forget her. Because I guess she does still have all of me. All of me that really matters, anyway.


End file.
